It's amazes me how many of the youth of today seem to have hearing deficits. Take my ten year old grandson for example. We love having him come to stay with us at the Hollow. And he seems to enjoy being here. There are very few rules for him to follow when he visits. Let me list them:
1: Your father's rules at home apply here.
a. no sleeping in after 8:00
b. there will be a maximum of 90 minutes of television or computer games a day, unless watching a Jazz game, movie, or other programming with an adult
c. 1/2 hour of football training is to be completed each day. (running, sit ups, etc.)
2: You will have assigned farm chores.
3: They are to be completed before t.v. or computer games are watched.
Now, he can have free run of the Hollow, the four wheeler and the refrigerator. He can call his mother whenever he wishes, read any book in the house, and take showers as long as he wants. He can have the dog sleep with him, get wet and muddy, have a friend come stay with him, and stuff himself on the contents of the nut bowl, cookie jar and candy dishes placed around the house.
His chores are:
1: Let the chickens out in the morning, in at night.
2. Gather the eggs.
3: Feed the dog morning and night.
4. Pick the peas twice while here.
5. Water the veggie garden twice while here.
Am I sounding like I'm breaking any child labor laws yet?
Here's the part that astounds me. Well....okay, maybe astounds is to strong, but it does leave me somewhat befuddled.
8:00 arrives. I can be heard sweetly calling, "Davin, time to lift that handsome head of yours from the pillow and greet the day." 8:15 arrives. My soft and tender voice calls, "Davin. Are you in a sitting position yet? Time to rise and shine." 8:30 arrives. My slightly agitated voice can be heard, "Davin, do I stutter? Time to get up, bud." I get busy making breakfast, sweeping the floor, putting in a load of laundry. 9:00 arrives: My clearly irritated voice resonates upstairs and down, "DAVIN. UP!" I forgot what it's like to get boys out of bed. It would take less energy to single handedly clear the Manti La Sal Forest.
Then it gets good. As he enters the kitchen, I say, "Hey. Good to see you in the land of the living. Want to let the chickens out and see if we have any eggs while I wash Pogo's dish? Then you can feed him when you come back to the house." I wait for a reply. No words come from between his still unbrushed teeth. "Dav...you want to take the egg basket and gather the eggs after you let the chicks out of the coop?" I smile as I turn to face him. And there it is. The STARE. "Davin? You with me?" "What?" "You with me?" The STARE... "Hey, goodlookin... take the egg basket off the counter, go outside, let the chickens out, and check for eggs. Okay?" "What do you want me to do?" I hate to be redundant, here... but, Do I stutter?
Now, I ask you. (I ask you, rather than my grandson. From you... I may get an answer, From him, I will get the STARE.) Is this sounding more difficult than it ought to be? The entire day can go this way. It is not merely a morning affliction. It goes on all day... ie:
"Davin. You ready to go swimming?" "Where are we going swimming?" "Uhh... I thought we might try the pool." "What do you want me to wear?" Okay... this is getting ridiculous. But...we actually had this very conversation. "Davin. You may wear whatever you like. What do you think might be a logical choice to go swimming?" "Whaddaya mean?" sigh
"Davin. You want french toast or Dee's Cereal for breakfast?" "What do you mean?" "What do I mean? I mean, I'll go slowly this time, Do.. you.. want.. french.. toast.. or.. Dee's.. Cereal.. for.. breakfast?"
This is pretty straightfoward stuff. What's out of whack? Is it a problem with my speech? With his hearing? Is it a generational thing? Is it a "ten" thing? I forgot. Or did I forget? It really seems like I used to be able to just talk to my kids and they'd respond with words...in English. We didn't have to constantly reconstruct our sentences for one another. We weren't forever repeating and explaining. Maybe that's because there were four of them and they acted as translators for one another. I don't know.
For the record. I generally don't re-act with the amount of sarcasm idsplayed in this short epistle. But....ahhhhhh, it felt SO good to be able to express what runs through my mind at times like these.
And we do have coherent moments. I just asked him to pick the peas. He went to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl from the cupboard, and left for the garden. Easy pickins for both of us this morning.
10 comments:
Is Davin upset or angry about something? Could it be something passive agressive? Or maybe he's just being the normal little kid in a daze? Hard to tell but I can see it can be frustrating. It sounds heavenly to be at your place and I can see why he would love being there.
You with the paint brush again! I can plainly see the two of you. When you have it all figured out, let us know. Maybe one day before they're ALL too old my grown kids will have us some grands. lol
I love reading your short stories!:-]
My question is...how does he act at home? Does he have responsibilities[chores] normally?
I don't have any grandkids[yet] so I can only draw from my 'aunt'experiences or from my teaching elem school background.
eg..if kids are used to having to be nagged to get stuff done, I don't see it changing!
So, my advice would be to stick to your guns while practicing deep breathing and/or some other stress relieving activity![like screaming, singing, laughing,chocolate!]
Hmmm. It's hard to give advice when you don't know the personalitis or the circumstances, so I cam best help by having empathy. Glad you can scream through your keyboard.
I think I would start by trying only questions with yes/no answers, like: Do you like staying here? Do you know what the rules are when you stay here?" Are there any rules you would like to change?
That might give you insight.
Good luck!
well you've got good advice. i had my last of four sons when i was 42...need i say more. this reminding me of all the poems i wrote about my last son not wanting to do anything other than playing computer games and i trying to get him to learn to drive, try dating or do his homework. he wouldn't but he turned out to be a great kid...and got married. just take a deep breath and let his dad be the parent. just have fun with the kid, turn off the electricity....or go camping.
Lin..you had a baby at 42? Wow...I could have a Davin right now. No, I don't have the energy for that...
Caryn...I have to laugh..let's see 10. Going into 5th grade? It's the "tweens" of today's generation. Aren't youth wonderful?...
Is this what I have to look forward to when I have children!?! Awwwww~! I can understand the morning STARE. The poor boy isn't awake yet. But all day?? He's such a sweet boy. Your such good grandparents!!
I hate to say it, but I think it's the electronic age stuff. It changes the way kids' brains process information. I don't know if it will turn out to be a good change or a bad one, but it is definitely a profound one.
It is also a result of conditioning. My grandkids listen better to me than they do to their parents. They know I mean what I say (lots of years of teaching helps), but they have learned to work their parents.
As long as you have lots of time for fun, your grandson will love remembering the time with you--rules and chores included.
missing your blogs-they are well worth the wait between them but it's time to SURPRISE us again with your witty wisdom and practical insights to lift and amuse us.
I wish I could live on a farm and let the chickens out and pick the peas. I'm posivite that one day Davin will really appreciate the farm experience. Every young child should get a piece of it.
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