I read the posts of many of you today. It was sweet to read about the family traditions celebrated, and the cherished memories of loved ones who've gone before. It was a joy to hear about the accomplishments of a child and the pride and peace they brought to his mother's days.
Family is at both center and circumference of my existance. I loved reading it was the same for so many of you as well. All felt right in my world.
Then the phone call came. A daughter of a client of mine called from Massachussets to ask me to be considerate of her parents. She asked if I would not allow too many people to invade their privacy, walking their land when they aren't serious buyers with both the intent and the means to purchase. So far so good. "Of course, I'd be happy to protect them in that manner. I appreciate the call and the concern you have for your parents that prompted you to make it."
She requested that I let potential buyers know that the terms of the sale are non-negotiable, that her parents are not to be made to sit on a giant yo-yo as they were dropped and tossed in all directions with empty promises of a purchase. She didn't want them on emotional highs and lows as I brought unsuitable offers to them. I wasn't too sure what she was aluding too... but, okay. "I'll only bring SOLID written offers to their home for signature. But, I am bound legally to present any and all offers verbally to see if they have any interest in further negotiations." She got a might testy over that comment. She did NOT want them disturbed with phone calls and visits that were not full price offers. uuhhhh... allright. "I'll discuss the details of your parents expectations with them further. Perhaps let them know I'm more than willing to address any concerns you or your siblilngs have." No! She didn't want them to know she'd called me. uuhhhh...mmmm...okay. I was starting to feel uncomfortable.
Then she threw the frying pan. She informed me that she and other family members don't want to intrude... they're trying to stay out of the transaction on the property as much as they can... but, she "warned" me that if I were to convince them to sell their home and land for less than the price set, if I were to take advantage of them that way, the children may be forced to take legal action and have them declared incompetent to make such decisions. WHAT??!!
I guess you should know that the property in question is 92 acres of the most beautiful ground in the county. The asking price is one and a half million buck's. The parents are elderly, not in real good health, and absolutely brilliant! He's a retired engineer who made mega bucks working in Saudi Arabia for the oil companies for 18 years. He owns and manages several properties in two counties. He's also a crusty old geezer who has certainly never had any trouble standing up to any neighbors when called for. They are extremely magnanimous people, generous of heart, and kind to a fault. But INCOMPETENT?? I should also probably let you know that these have become friends, teachers, and confidants of mine. I have as much respect for these two incredible people as I've ever held for anyone. I truly love them.
I'm not only at a loss to know how to handle the situation, I'm at a loss to understand it. It doesn't conjure up pictures of baking cookies, and watching your children with pride and pleasure, or looking up from the work at hand to lose yourself for a few minutes in the memory of times shared with loved ones.
I wish I'd let the answering machine pick up the blasted call!
9 comments:
Wow. I see what you mean. My first thought is greed. The children want the most generous estate possible left to them. Then I think more generously - maybe they really are concerned that their parents don't get "taken". But then when you describe the elderly couple, I think their children don't know them at all. Maybe they should come for a visit and spend some time with them, get to know them like you, a mere acquaintence, know them.
I have no advice on what to do. You know the ethics of your business and I don't. It just seems you should continue to get direction from your clients and not their children.
Oh sheesh, Caryn! Oh double sheesh! I could feel my stomach getting queasy as I read your post. I felt like I went through that call with you. Something is weird in that relationship, I think. I imagine her parents would have been mighty upset if they knew she'd called and spoken to you that way. I hope you were able to take deep breaths, have a nice coffee mocha and try to find your happiest place in your mind. We're all with you.
Well, first of all, give thanks that you are NOT like this person because anyone with so much negativity and 'in your face hootspa[sp?]probably doesn't enjoy life and its peaceful moments. How would you like to live her life???Aren't you glad you are you!!
Do you have any kid's bubbles in the house? Take them on a walk in the Hollow and watch them float thru the air.
In the great big scheme of things, where does tis woman fit in your life?
This,too, shall pass.
God bless ya!
welcome to the real world...guess you'll have to let those emotions fly on by and not get entangled. Sad when your kids have different values than you do and it makes you realize what money/greed can do in the world and in families. I would block all future calls from this person-do you have caller ID? If not get it soon. See ya later for lunch my friend. We can talk.
I promise to never have you declared incompetent.
That is a weird situation. I can't wait to talk with you about it. Like what did you say to her after that? What did you say to her parents. That is very unfair and unkind to put you in a situation like that. I know you will be true to your clients and represent them in the best way possible. Isn't this the client I heard you say "I love you" to on the phone?
maybe i was caught in an ugly mood but I think telling the "old folks" about the phone call might work wonders. The nerve! Too often we take the soft word/road when a little tough love still functions with children...even grown ones.
Guess the kids want their inheritance to be a large as possible. You have to follow your legal obligations. How could they sue you? It isn't easy to have anyone declared incompetent. Idiots..
Sounds like a hostage situation to me, Caryn. Yeesh. "I love my parents for their cash value, the bottom of line of which is immutable." How horrible for those older folks. I will pray for your enduring patience!
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