Experience has taught me...

I watched a video yesterday that impressed me deeply. One of the comments made that particularly stood out was this:

"It's better to do the right things adequately, than to do the wrong things beautifully."

That struck me right between the shoulder blades and made me stand up straight. I've spent so much time doing the wrong things extremely well. I had a perennial flower garden in a home we used to own in North Ogden. I loved it and tended it constantly. Our home was bordered by an orchard on the east. Before I planted my prized delphiniums, Asiatic lillies, and evening primrose,my husband used to have the children pull the weeds in the orchard. I remember thinking how ridiculous that was. Why didn't he have them doing something useful? Then, my gardens were born and began to flourish, and I realized the wisdom behind pulling those weeds. If I didn't, they would creep, or their seeds be blown by the canyon winds, or carried and dropped by birds, into my Bleeding Hearts,Verbascum and daisies and choke their beauty from them. So, I spent countless hours in the same activity I previously thought was so silly. I weeded the orchard. It was an important thing to do. But, while I was protecting my flowers from noxious weeds, I wasn't taking the time to notice my boys being completely smothered by noxious friendships. And so... my perennial beds were gorgeous, and my sons went to weed.

Life isn't always a matter of chosing between what's important and what isn't. Sometime's it's making the choice between what's important, and what's imperative. Sometimes doing a really GOOD thing, isn't always doing the truly RIGHT thing. I think it's important to develop our creativity! I think it's important to help beautify the world we live in. Those are all good things! But... I believe with my entire being, that it's imperative that we parent the children who are given to our care to nurture, to teach, to protect, and to cherish. That is the right thing.

My home in North Ogden was sold. The new owner has a much busier life than I had and the flower gardens are no longer pristine and free of tangles of morning glory and grasses. Looking back, the time I spent on them doesn't seem so worth the deflected energy I spent on them.

My sons have managed to grow into strong, beautiful men. I'm so proud of them. Unfortunately, they had to dig hard and deep to rid themselves of some of the invasive weeds that took hold of them while I was tending flowers.

I take heart in knowing that good judgement comes from experience...experience comes from bad judgement. I learned from some of the poorer decisions I made in the past. I still have gardens of delphiniums, Asiatic lillies and daisies... I still love them and tend to them constantly. But...I take off my gardening gloves and put down my hand shovel when the grandkids are here. I spend time with them. We shoot arrows into the trees, sway in the hammock, and pick stuff out of the "Atta BOY" box. We go see the mini-ponies and Zebra's in a neighboring town, pick our breakfast cereal from the trees, and have their "poppy" teach them how to play football on the lawn. When my sons and daughter are visiting, there is nothing that takes priority over talking with them, listening to them, watching them with one another and their dad. It is imperative that I leave this mortal sphere with them knowing that they are deeply loved, respected, and cared for by their mother. I can hire someone to pull dandelions from the lawn and thistles from the flower beds. I can not hire someone else to fill my children and grandchildren with the absolute and secure knowledge that they and Wayne are my number one priority. I hope that I am doing the RIGHT thing...at least adequately. I don't care quite so much about doing the wrong thing beautifully anymore. I can do both, I know that. But, I have them prioritized differently now that a little wisdom and better judgement snuck in while I was growing older and more experienced.