Monday, February 2, 2009

Size Seven


I wear a size 7 (narrow)... now and then a size seven 1/2. My daughter wears a size nine. My sister in law wears an eight. What this tells me is that you can't put the same shoe on every foot.

In the same vein... not everyone enjoys the same recreational activities. I, as an example, don't enjoy much of anything that requires wearing a helmet. My hubby and sons are extreme sports enthusiasts. My daughter is a bit of a daredevil as well.

Not everyone likes their steak the same way. I prefer mine the pinkest side of medium rare. My husband likes it close to crispy. My son is a vegetarian.

Not everyone learns at the same speed, picks the same color scheme for their bathroom, or loves the same animal as a pet.

We can't pigion hole people. We can't set the bar at a certain height and expect everyone to clear it. We can't set an idea in front of a large group of people and expect there to be no disagreement. And, that's good. My dad said two things:
1 - If two people agree completely about everything, one of them isn't necessary.
2 - To follow anyone (ie: your husband or a leader) blindly shows a lack of spirit only to be admired in sheep. Everything should be researched and considered from ALL sides and then you should follow your own conscience.

I say this because I understand that not everyone worldwide (or in my neighborhood for that matter) shares my religious views and I don't expect them too. I'm a card carrying member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. (Mormon) Not everyone will share my political views. I'm not really fond of the stimulous package as it is currently being presented to the Senate and the American people.

But, I love hearing other peoples opinions. It gives me reason to give serious reflection to attitudes that I've held close and it either strengthens them, or I release them and adopt a new perspective. However, I don't like being yelled at, sworn at, told I lack intelligence or that I'm somehow racial, homophobic or evil. (Think some talk show hosts, here... anyone heard of Michael Savage? Savage... now there's a name that says it all) What I ask is that people be open to one another and respectful of one another. As an example, I received a beautiful e-mail via comments from Michelle that explained her feelings on some issues clearly and politely. It was wonderful and welcome. If only everyone were so sure of themselves, articulate, and gracious. I didn't agree with her entire stance and wasn't made to feel that she would think less of me for that.

Now everyone is entitled to think what they think, and say whatever they please just as they can place pink and orange bath towels outside their shower and wear purple stillito's in the snow. But, now and then I've had someone try and cram their ideas into my head. They've tried to shame me or holler me into agreement. I don't handle that kind of treatment well... I'm basically a gentle person by nature and oft times recoil and withdraw when I feel under attack. It has not always been so. There was a time in my younger days when I used words as weapons and they have been lethal on occasion. I'm not proud of that time period in my life. I grew up and am happy to report that kindness took over as my M.O.

So... I won't paint anyone else's bathroom cabinets a pale green, serve up bleeding meat on their platter, or bring my dog for a visit into their living room. I won't try and squish into anyone's size six high heels or stuff cotton balls into anyone's size eight 1/2 loafers to try and keep them on my feet... I would hope that in exchange they won't slit the sides of my size seven shoes to make them more comfortable for their size nine foot, and then be angry with me because they hurt. No one's shoe size is going to change. In the same respect, I won't name call, screech or shake my fist at anyone's religious, moral or political values. A deeply held set of beliefs is not going to change through those methods.

We just can't put the same shoe on every foot. Nor can we place the same beliefs into every mind.

The answer is... NO. No one in my blogging world has said anything to hurt my feelings or upset me... I've enjoyed reading every word that I've read, even those that I simply didn't agree with.

I do live in a reality world that makes me shake my head from time to time, though. There have been a few wide eyed, jaw dropping moments either directed at me or at someone standing near to me, and I guess I wanted to vent.

Thanks for listening.

15 comments:

Chandi said...

About what you said here......beautifully put. Incredibly well said.....really. I loved it. Now, I want to hear the story behind it so you better fill me in.

Jean said...

Another thoughtful, open-minded (the point, after all!), articulate, memorable post. It's something for all of us to consider and remember. Thank you for saying it so well.

Mare said...

You should send that post to your newspaper as an editorial because it was great! Thought provoking, yet very rational! I really appreciate the time and effort you put into expressing those thoughts.
It does however make me think that Congress will never agree on anything, thus, our problems as a nation won't be solved.

Jo, a retired teacher said...

Very eloquent as usual, Caryn.

Great Grandma Lin said...

amen...I agree and congratulate you for expressing who you are and giving us all the freedom to do that kindly...you would have made a great politician. love ya

Carrie and Shane said...

I loved that! and I agree you should send it to a paper. When I'm in disagreement with someone I always try to remember what Thomas Jefferson said, (paraphrased) "I will never loose a friend based on religion, color, or politics."

Sylvia K said...

Appreciate your speaking up and out, it's good for all of us to do and to hear. I think we all have things that we feel strongly about and they may not be the same things even among our closest friends. We all have the right to our feelings and our beliefs and the right to express them. This was a good reminder.

Deborah Godin said...

I think you've spoken for tolerance, diversity, and flat-out kindness very well!

Brenda @ Its A Beautiful Life said...

Hi Caryn, I finally got a chance to read your last two postings. Enjoyed both very much.

I enjoyed getting to 'know' you a little better. Sure loved your take on the favorite places to eat....now that's thinking outside 'my' box. When I don't think 'restaurant', you've listed most of my favorite places too!

And I truly enjoyed your 'shoe' imagery and insights. If we could just allow everyone to be themselves, it sure would be a lot less 'work' for all of us. (Fear works in very strange ways!)

BTW, I tagged you yesterday, and forgot to let you know! (chagrin)
And if it doesn't make you 'happy', you're free to say I pass!

Anonymous said...

Michael Savage's real name is Michael Weiner, so you see why he had to change his name to something more eloquent.

Rambling Woods said...

Well..I am reading along and then see my name and I think..Hmmm..
another person named Michelle and then it came back to me what you were referring to. I have to say that the very first time I read your blog it was a post about not blindly following everything that was said at a meeting or something as an off-shoot of a religious service or something like that. But I was floored that someone from a religious group that I knew nothing about except for seeing it on TV, could feel comfortable enough to ponder and question things that were said.

Not only that, but both you and Lin have been most open and welcoming without being 'preachy'. Because of that, I have learned something about Mormon beliefs.

I am very passionate and I try to temper that with patience but as usual, I am not always successful.

On things that I am most outspoken on are those that I have a personal connection to as you found out.

I agree, you should publish your stuff somewhere because you really have a talent for presenting a very important lesson in a gentle way that makes it acceptable to everyone..And that is a gift that should be shared...Michelle..

SandyCarlson said...

You are great. Anyone steps on your Size 7 shoes, send them to me.

What I like about you and what you write is that you embrace possibilities. You come from a clear and considered place with an open heart and mind. What's better than that? Because your outlook and attitude make meaningful conversation possible--and the possibility of changing one's mind without feeling threatened.

You rock. Plain and simple. I thank God for you.

Linda Reeder said...

Caryn, while I am pretty much your opposite in beliefs and politics, and I wear size 10 wide, I would never dream of trying to "convert" you to my thinking because it is clear that you have reached decisions based on questioning, reasoning, personal experience and much thought. Your writing is articulate and skillful and reflects intelligence, wisdom and caring.
And thank you for not bringing your dog to my living room. That is one of my pet peeves!

Unknown said...

How do you do that? I have never met anyone quite like you! You are the most expressive writer. I love it. It makes me want to pop a bag of popcorn, throw on my comfy sweats and then sit down to the computer and read your blog. I love how you communicate your thoughts so well.

I feel the need to warn you. You might not want to keep up on our blog in the next few days because of your jealousy. We still want to be in good standings with you. J/K We just moved to a house right on the beach in Hauula! It is so amazing. I can't wait to blog about it.

We love and appreciate you so much. I know it's just blogging but thanks for always checking in on us and commenting on our lives. It makes me feel a little less homesick to know that you are still involved in our lives.

Waimea Bay is turning into our favorite beach as well. It's so beautiful. I feel The Lords love so strong when I am anywhere in nature. I can't believe he made all of this just for us!

I totally agree with the man and his dog comment. There was something so heart warming to see Thad and Nala working or playing side by side. I miss it.

Lynley said...

I liked the purple stiletto imagery.

Well said Aunt Caryn.