I went to church this morning and was so touched by a song that a lovely young lady sang. It expressed exactly how I feel about mothering and teaching... well, pretty much about the way I feel we should live our lives.
I want to leave my children with a legacy of strength and faith. I want to leave them with a sure knowledge that they are loved without moderation or condition. I want them to know that they are never alone, that there will always be someone for them to turn to for comfort and guidance. But...it's a fact of life that some day I will not be here to talk to, to give them hugs and hold them close. Someday they will need to know how to hear words of encouragement whispered by a voice that is not mine. I need to stand aside so that they can know the Savior is the one that can and will always be there for them.
a few of the lyrics to the song:
I want to be a windodow to His love, so when you look at me you will see Him. I want to be so pure and clear that you won't even know I'm here...
I want to be a doorway to the truth, so when you walk beyond you will find Him. I want to stand so stright and tall that you won't notice me at all.
A window to His love, A doorway to the truth. A bearer of the message He'd have me bring to you.
And with each passing day, I want to fade away. I want to be a window to His love.
With every passing year, I want to disappear. I want to be a window to His love.
It's not that I don't want to be remembered... of course I do. I never want my memory to be lost to those I cherish, who are so percious to me. But, I want them to know that when I'm not available by phone...when they can't sit on the couch and let me tickle their arm, when we can't share a bag of Mrs Cavanaugh's caramels... that the Savior will be right by their side. That He loves them as I do, that He believes in them even more than I do, that he sees the best in them and will forgive them and always, always extend His hand to them. I want them to understand that often when I held them... He was using my arms to comfort them. When I said something that touched or encouraged them, He was speaking through me so that His words would be easier to hear. I want them to feel more than what I have to offer them.
And I want to teach the same way. It always disturbs me a little when I teach a Sunday School class and members come up and tell me what a wonderful lesson I gave. I'm very uncomfortable with gush and praise. I don't want to convert them to me, to have them love me. I want to get out of the way so that they are converted to the Lord... so that they love the Savior. I want to be a "window so pure and clear, that they won't even know I'm here" that they will feel the Savior near.
I'm a little teapot, "short and stout". I have naturally curly hair that I wasn't born with, It just showed up one morning when I was in my fifties.... I swear. My best feature is that I'm nice. I try to be nice to everyone, all the time.
I share my life with a tall, blue eyed, broad shouldered, narrow waisted hunk of a guy who both protects and provides for me in every way. He's one of the good, better, best guys!
I have four gorgeous children. Yeah, well I know you think everyone says that... but they ARE! And the best part of it is that they're great people! I have a son and daughter in law that have added both sugar and spice to our banquet table. Life is delicious!