Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I Don't Know... I'm Asking.

My good friend, Lin, taught a class this past week where she asked those attending what we wanted to do to improve ourselves this month. She pointed out the importance of spending each minute, every hour, in a quest to become more than we are... Dang! That stings! I am not a well educated woman... at least, I have no formal education worthy of mentioning. I love language and am always enthralled by those who use it well. I enjoy wrapping myself up in the wisdom of a large variety of authors and individuals who have crossed my path. But, I just don't seem to have the clamoring desire to expand my universe the way so many do. The truth of it is that I'm too easily entertained. Everything and nothing fascinates me. I find even the most mundane aspects of life, and most unnoticed and unnoticeable people, interesting. I've read somewhere that "wisdom lies in gathering precious moments". I like to think that I recognize precious moments as they happen and always carry a folded apron in my mind to gather as many of them as I can. And I only see one major reason for life and that is to grow in love, understanding and compassion... for ourselves, and for every other creature on the planet.

I don't plan and study and work at "becoming"... I often wish I had that kind of motivation. But... I really don't. I just sort or meander the hillsides and alleyways of life and often find that as I return home after each "walkabout", I have evolved in some way into a higher, or deeper, self.

If I plan to carry a great book and a bright green marker out to the hammock to read and underline and post some goals... I usually become distracted by the dog that wants to play "fetch" with me, or the peonies growing along the edge of the blackberry patch, or the sunshine that becomes dappled as it sifts through the leaves...and my mind begins to carry on conversations with all sorts of imaginary companions. Are they garden fairies? Guardian angels? Remnants of friends and mentors who's memories are nestled in some niche of my heart? We share ideas and philosophies with each other and invent activities to make us giggle or send us into deep wells of thought. My plans to re-invent myself are shattered, once again, and I can generally be found puttering and dawdling through another afternoon. But, somehow... I'm rarely disappointed by the way I've spent my time. I have few regrets. I discover that one of the invisable friends that I've shared my day with has opened new vistas and enriched my soul.

Is this wrong, do you think? Should growth be a subtle thing that creeps up on us? Should it be the result of wide awake efforts every day to learn something more about ourselves? My guess is that it should probably be a melding of the two. I don't know. I'm asking.

13 comments:

Great Grandma Lin said...

Life is not a competition but a journey and as each of us differs from the other, so our mode of traveling is unique. "If it isn't broke, don't fix it." I think you have found a marvelous way of enjoying the journey not fixated on some specific route but letting "serendipity" be your guide. That's what makes you so special to your many friends and admirers....my dear friend. Don't worry-be happy.

Jean said...

Interestingly, I read Lin's post then meandered over to yours. I, too, do not consciously set a path for myself, in an attempt to enrich the person I am. I just kind of move along and enjoy life as it happens.

I'm SO surprised to hear you do not have a dozen degrees after your name, because your writing is truly exceptional. I'd have guessed you'd studied writing for years and had a degree or two or three in it. You have a gift for capturing your thoughts in wonderful, clear images.

I, too, am easily entertained. To me, that's what makes life so darned interesting.

Brenda @ Its A Beautiful Life said...

Hey Caryn, I think Lin says it when she says life's a journey, not a competition, and we each have our own mode of travelling.

I think you've found your mode, so enjoy and keeping blessing us with your unique way of traveling that adds so much beauty, grace and fun to those around you, even here in blogworld.

Brenda @ Its A Beautiful Life said...

PS. We wouldn't want you any other way. Who else carries a red nose in their purse for special occasions!

Kay said...

Everything Jean said, I second it. You are an amazing writer, Caryn... just as good as anybody with a PhD. Seriously. I love your attitude on life. I wish everybody could have it. Finding the joys in life and helping to pass it on as you do....Fabulous.

Chandi said...

Like the poem about the crayons. We need all colors of people to make the world bright. Like you said...........you don't regret the ways you have spent your days. I think that is the key right there.

SandyCarlson said...

Your thoughts on walking and reflecting and returning with wisdom made me think of the great and wonderful poet Mary Oliver. She is a genius. She is called the walking nun because she walks 4 hours a day. She writes brilliant poems.

So your life is your art. And I am grateful.

Jenna said...

Caryn,

I have been catching up on my blog carousing as a way to unwind and found myself thoroughly enjoying your posts, especially "by their fruits..." You are definately a stong branch and your children the good fruit full of the frangrance, color and juice they have inherited from you. Reading these posts make me memory-sick. How I wish I could travel back in time to some of those wonderful summer evenings in North Ogden playing Sardines, kick-the-can or steal-the-flag. One of my greatest concerns is that my children are growing-up without those experiences with family. Sigh.

On another note, I'm with you on the living and enjoying life and it's many simple pleasures. I've never been one to seize every moment, but I sure do enjoy being surprised by the things that bring a smile to my face or a lump in my throat. Having little children reminds me that I need to stop and smell the roses more often and remember that a simple rock can bring endless wonder when viewed through the appropriate lenses.
Thank you for your words of wisdom.

Linda Reeder said...

I can't think of a better plan or pattern for leading one's life than you just described. Your wisdom is surpassed only by your glorious way of describing it.

I am not a goal setter. I live by the rule my mother taught me. "If you decide to do something, do it the best you can."

Sandy said...

Some people walk through the garden to get to their destination. They see it's beauty, the colors, they love the way it makes them feel, but they spend no time truly seeing what it has to offer.

You seem to stop in the garden to appreciate everything before moving on. Seems to me there is wisedom, and growth, in what you do.

Mare said...

If everyone did things exactly the same, wouldn't life be boring! I like your take on things, and find many of your ways of looking at life are just like mine. I enjoy your writing/sharing, and look forward to the next visit every time.
You have a lot to offer, and I for one, thank you for sharing.

dellgirl said...

Not only do I like the way you think, I love the way you say it. I can feel your energy as you speak your journey, that's awesome. Not many can do that, I know I can't.

You are like the 'great' people we read about who accomplished big things and had no ""formal"" education. Some people are destined to greatness, you are destined to inspire. You inspire me with your words, your phrases, and your wonderful insights.

I'll take you just the way you are.

Have a great weekend, Caryn.

SandyCarlson said...

Thanks for stopping by today, my friend. God bless.