Thursday, April 30, 2009

Deep Sighs and Big Slobbery Sobs

I'm generally a pretty upbeat type of gal. It's not my M.O. to get too down for too long. But, I'm making an exception today.

Have I mentioned how much my hubby and I love life at the Hollow? We have a fair sized creek on the west side of the property with the covered bridge crossing it. There's a little babbling stream on the east side that runs alongside our vegetable garden. Both are just the right size to splash in safely. We have a grove of trees to hide in and have easter egg hunts in, and pick the little individual boxes of breakfast cereal that my daughter and I hang from the branches. We have three pastures. The lower one has plum trees with such tasty fruit to fill tummies with. It's the ideal place to shoot pvc pipe bows and pencil eraser tipped arrows, and play kick ball. The upper pasture is two and a half acres up a slight incline and is great for our annual HUGE bonfire and riding four wheelers. We lease out this fun upper pasture to neighbors who keep four horses there during the fall that are available for petting or riding. We have chickens to chase, a great dog to play with, a cool hammock to swing in, a play house to climb on, slide down and jump from, and a fire pit for gathering around listening to Poppy's Uncle Zedekiah stories while toasting marshmallows... it's a kids paradise. Wayne and I were so excited to find a place so perfect for the grandkids to come and stay and be safe while exploring and doing all of the adventuresome things little boys can dream up to do in a setting like this. Have you heard about the "best laid plans of mice and men"?

taking deep breath... exhaling slowly...

My daughter called today. She was on her way home from taking my five year old grandson to the allergist. She learned that he's allergic to our dog, (we knew that) and horses, and tall grasses (ie: the pastures), and probably our chickens. This is only a partial list of his allergies. Chandi and her boys will NOT be able to come and visit us here any longer. Can I just tell you how bad she and I are feeling about this? It stinks! Not to mention how hard it's going to be for that sweet child to keep away from everything that can send him to the emergency room. Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that he doesn't just get itchy eyes or bumpy, red blotches on his cheeks. He can't breathe...as in trip to the emergency room to be put on a respirator, can't breathe. He has an anaphylactic allergy to peanuts. And we're not sure how extreme his re-action to some of the other allergies could become.

Rats! That's something else he's allergic to....mice and rats. His doting uncles, my three sons, bought the boys three pet mice for Christmas. Who knew? They were a big hit. They named the white one Crisco, the gray one Rhino, and the brown one with a white strip around his middle, Oreo. Chandi noticed Ryson's eyes would start to swell when he held the one that was his pet...Oreo. So she's kept him away from them for the most part. Fortunately, since we just found out how the little nibblers can effect our boy, the last of them just died Tuesday... (guess which one lasted the longest... Oreo, of course)

If I still had a tub, I'd give some thought to taking my next bath face down in the water... Okay. I exaggerate. I'm not that depressed. But, I am so, SO sad!

Well, that's my sorry tale. Thanks for letting me vent. I wish I could say it made me feel better. I know it's supposed to help to open up the pressure valve and let off steam. But, I'm sorry to say...I don't feel better. Although it did feel good to spit out my aauugghhhh's and grrrrr's and CURSES while visually shaking my fist at the sniggering gods on Olympus.

another deep breath... I will not hold it until I turn blue. I'll let a big slobbery sob escape as I exhale slowly with a deep sigh and say good night.

10 comments:

Mare said...

Wow. The only good thing that I can come up with is 'Thank God you found this out in this manner and not as a result of a frantic trip to the ER, with the terrible possibilites that might ensue'.
My heart goes out to you though, Caryn, and God bless you and your family.
I will tell you that as I was reading, I thought it was going to say that you lost The Hollow for some reason.

Great Grandma Lin said...

me too Mare. I thought oh no-they lost it. Well, life always has it adjustments to deal with and yours was just too perfect. Now instead of reacting-do some acting so what can you do to adjust to this and still make memories with your family? Didn't it feel good just to publish your woes...even if no solution is there yet. Pray about it. And like Mare suggested the little guy is still with you just needs special care-bet he feels bad too. How about writing a children's story about it? Just an idea...

Jo, a retired teacher said...

Darn, I'll bet no one is more unhappy about that than your grandson! Allergies are NO FUN.

There is hope. My hubby has undergone a series of desensitization treatments (shots) a couple of times in his life and with Singulair (which is safe for kids), he is problem free. And, we often grow out of allergies. With some careful monitoring, he can still enjoy visiting grandma and grandpa. I can't imagine they could bear to stay away very long.

I think we are always happy when you post--for whatever reason.

Brenda @ Its A Beautiful Life said...

If only I could come and sit beside you and hold your hand, give you a big hug, maybe breathe a prayer of hope that the same God who made that dear little one knows how to make him better......

I'd even bring my own kleenex....

Loving thoughts, Brenda

Jean said...

This is too, too much. What a darned shame, to put it mildly, that your grandson can't enjoy his grandparents' Utopia. I wish I could offer some help, but of course I can't. It's way beyond me and everyone mortal. But I like Mare's comment that it's a good thing you found this out before a major, major emergency. I wonder why, though, all of these allergies are showing up in children today? Peanut allergies?? Dust mite allergies?? Rat allergies?? Tall grass allergies?? Did these things exist when we were young? I don't think so.

Deborah Godin said...

Oh dear, what a total awful rotten miserable bummer!!! Is there any hope that he might grow out of it?

Linda Reeder said...

Well, that just sucks! I have no words of wisdom. I know it will take you a long time to get over this and adjust. You will continue to envision them coming and playing and then remember --oh, yeah. They can't.
I've had some experience with these feelings myself. My four year old granddaughter just called me to tell me about her day, but she lives 1500 miles away. My daughter moved away from us and had her family in Colorado. Eight years later I'm still dealing with it, but it does get easier, most of the time.
After you get over being sad and angry, you will find ways to adjust. But you will still feel the loss.
I'm so sorry.

SandyCarlson said...

That makes me so sad, too. Has modern medicine nothing to offer this child? Oh, my. How much he will miss out on.

I have a friend who is similarly allergic all that moves. He has been able to take some meds and to become resistant to some of these things.

I will keep your family in my prayers. Changes come.

Rambling Woods said...

Oh no...my daughter had allergies and asthma that could get bad, but not that bad. That poor kiddo and his Mom and yes you too. I have to say if anyone can find a way to cope and to provide the kid a fun and safe environment, it will be you and your family..I have to wonder why there are so many severe allergies that children have....what is going on...Michelle

Kay said...

Oh Caryn, I'm so sorry...
I feel just awful for you that you won't be able to share the Hollow with your grandson. In time, I'm thinking you'll be able to accept it and adapt to the situation.

My nephew was afflicted with retnoblastoma when he was 6 months old. I remember my sister-in-law crying that he'd never be able to enjoy a baseball game with her, that he'd never see a sunset. We all went through a period of grieving over what could have been before both his eyes were removed.

He's 30 years old now and entertains in Waikiki. He's had 4 CDs that did pretty well and he's happy. Sometimes life knocks you for a loop but then it strengthens you in other ways.

I'll be thinking about you, Caryn.